5/10

Noelle evaluated my essay and gave me some comments that may change my entire essay. I really need to organize my essay to make it more stable. She said some of my sentences are in the wrong areas so obviously i am going to change those senetences and maybe even some paragraphs. I also need to support my thesis more clearly and be more assertive with my words. some of my qoutations from Bishop will be removed from the essay and page numbers will be added. I also need to add a counter arguement to my paper which i did not include. There is going to be major changes in my essay and hopefully they will make my paper stronger.