I am currently evaluating Noelle Gilhcrists sysnthesis paper, titled "Watervliet:Blame it on the Generation." In her essay she discusses that the current generation is the cause of churches decline. Her town went from a republican county to a democratic county. The fact that people are more concernced with fast food, nail salons, and the latest fashion leave not much time for people to go to church. Watervliet supports Bishop's theory on how politics are influenced by this generation change.
Thesis: Noelle has a strong thesis, however I think she should add a sentence or two after the thesis to show a little support. I do realize the whole essay supports the thesis but I think she could be a little more indepth and clear about her main purpose. She definitely agrees with Bishop that times are changing and her town is the perfect example of this change. She continues to introduce her thesis in her body paragraphs which makes the essay stronger.
Support: Noelle has a lot of support throughout her essay. Although she does not use a scholar source shes uses personal experience and qoutations from websites and bishops book. Although I feel wikipedia may not be the best source, she uses the information to its fullest extent and pulls examples from most of her articles.
Organization: The piece does include evidence of Bishops big sort book. She uses examples and qoutations from the book although she does not provide a backround of what Bishop discusses. More transistions could be necessary throughout each body paragraph that would make the essay flow more smoothly from paragraph to paragraph. Noelle always provides information about the qoutes she is using and gives her own clear definition of the qoute before or after it is said.
Mechanics: There are many grammatical errors through the essay but they are small and can easily be fixed. Some sentences can be combined with a comma although that is not this authors writing style.
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